Don't have an account? Of course, not everyone has the emotional maturity to keep personal issues to themselves. 1. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. Even if your spouse believes what they said to be true, or if its their personal opinion, this kind of behavior cannot be justified. My bf told me in the car when we dropped off my friend. Some of the stuff he's said are pretty degrading and humiliating. Box 391 When youre bad mouthing your partner to friends who care about you, they only get one side of the story. I say that because sometimes friends can have a one-sided view or an inability to remain neutral. My bf talks behind my back about my past relationships and it makes me very angry. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. How do you talk to them about it? Someone who talks about you behind your back is You need to get his permission or simply discuss the whole situation with him. They see all the faults in your partner and get mad at them along with you. I appreciate you giving us this guidance. Maybe this person feels humiliated and lashes out against you with gossip, so people will stop talking about them. By continuing to use this website, you consent to the use of cookies in accordance with our Cookie Policy. There were a number of things that ran through my mind when I thought of communicating to my partner in that manner. What do they gain from it? It's the same as usual.. gf gf gf gf gf -_- I rarely have dinners at home with my parent's anymore!" Confronting your partner each time tells his friends something that happened in the relationship might not have a very smooth ending. If you dont feel comfortable spending time with somebody you know has been saying negative things about you, it is healthier to walk away. When your spouse talks bad about you, its normal to feel like hes the bad guy who cant keep his mouth shut. Putting up an act while bashing me in front of his friends and family, how can he love me? You could stop here, and it would be all good mission accomplished by incredibly mature relationship work. Work toward mutual understanding. People Who Talk Behind Your Back . Method 1 Listening to the Persons Words 1 Listen for backhanded compliments. A marriage involves two peoplenot the whole world. Talk about Airbn-free. I know we all need to vent, but he has a history of doing this with me (his gf). However, the most evident truth about negative people who talk behind your back is that they simply enjoy it. But its still worth looking into the reasons behind it. Nobody wants their family or close friends to gossip about them in their absence. well recently I browsed through his chatlogs, out of curiosity and after that, he confessed that he made me seem demanding behind my back to all of his friends, but not on purpose.I only read one of the conversations he had with a mutual friend(co-worker) of us. Theyre struggling with their identity and projecting their own issues on you. Its not about fighting with your spouse. Whether any confidences have been broken, and how serious they are. When youre bad mouthing your partner to friends who care about you, they only get one side of the story. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. In this article, I have discussed eleven points and approaches you should adopt if you find yourself in a similar situation. If you have been told that a friend is talking about you behind your back, do you trust this information, or is it worth asking whether it is accurate? You can talk things through with him peacefully and calmly, letting him know your grievances and how displeased you are with the way he is talking to people about you. Sometimes, theres a deeper win for your marriage thats waiting to happen. There are many reasons why anyone would resort to badmouthing their partner. There are many reasons why anyone would resort to badmouthing their partner. After many months of reflection upon my previous actions of gossip, I have come to realize that I had a lot of insecurities within myself. What to Do When People Talk Behind Your Back 1. The fact is, gossip has a place in every culture. If someone you work with is talking about you behind your back, it is essential to report this to a person in a position of authority to investigate and put a stop to it. You should point out those instances and occasions that he told them, and give him clear explanations of how you heard or found out. Oftentimes, people who talk behind your back are very skillful manipulators. He said that he knew someone to me last night. Does your spouse talk badly about you to other people? They see all the faults in your partner and get mad at them along with you. First Things First, Inc. and its affiliates disclaim any and all liability from the use of any information or advice from anything contained in our website, social media, or other services. Dont you think so? Badmouthing. Not a long time, so I was understanding of the WebAnswer (1 of 5): No! I am ashamed and regrettably admit I am guilty of this. If you cant tell the person in your life how you feel leave them why do you hurt them in that disrespectful way. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. A Let them know what you expect of a real friend if they want to be one. She says he has cancer and brain tumors. 8. And some folks, if they dont have anything against you other than your political differences, will make things up to shock people. What do you think?Thank you for reading this long story and your opinion! When I met him I was single for 3 months. Going straight to report to your family without having the same conversation with your spouse may just be as disrespectful. Not tell others hurtful things about our spouse or keep our spouse unaware of how we really feel. (I didnt know that he felt suffocated at that time! What does it mean when someone talks bad about you behind your back? Call them out (privately) for not having the guts to say the words to your face. , Is it ok for my girlfriend to have a cell phone conversation with her therapist and talk about me while Im in the same house? For years my husband badmouths me to family and friend whenever we have an argument. Last updated: June 2, 2023 My boyfriend talks to his ex behind my back. This is a sentence that no woman likes to say, and yet it happens quite a lot. Talk about it 3. Once I brought the rest of the furniture to her, she became very toxic. So, if they have juicy info to share about you preferably something that makes you look less likable theyll share it whenever they get the chance. And since magnesium and B complex vitamins are needed to synthesize dopamine, anyone who has trouble properly absorbing magnesium and B complex vitamins, will tend to be more dopamine deficient and then tend to be more likely to want to stimulate dopamine release in their brain by gossiping. Try to get into each others shoes and trade perspectives with an open mind.2. Before I knew he was a disgusting pervert he made a very sickening comment to me, in front of my husband. Gossip is their favorite guilty pleasure, though they might not feel any guilt over it. So these people will also want to always acquire new things, or go new places, or meet new people and always seek out new information. Make it public 4. If handled well totally worth it! Badmouthing your spouse will only go as far as reinforcing negative opinions about them. Gossip dies when it hits a wise persons ears. Even excellent friends can harbor secret envy, whether its because of your career success or your amazing new partner! Here again, pettiness or vindictiveness comes into play. So, youve got the convo rolling in a healthy, solution-oriented way. No one has the right to tell you that you shouldnt be worried about your ex-boyfriend talking to his ex-girlfriend behind your back. So it would be well worth dialing back on the friendship and dealing with them in a less personal capacity when your paths cross. You can communicate without attacking. Yea for the last 2 years, but Ive been with this guy 10 years and hes always bad mouthed me behind my back. WebAnswer (1 of 5): No! We are only together for 3 months! Luckily she didnt agee with the looking ugly part.He also confessed that he was telling his friends and family personal things about me which I told him to keep secret.I am very hurt because he always appeared happy around me and everything seemed fine.. I cant abide that position, sure I dont have the right to know everything she says and does, but if she is talking about me in a demeaning way, I kind of do have a right to know, or at least have a right to have the issues addressed with me first, so I have an opportunity to address the root cause (if it does have to do with me). If you know the reason behind the gossip, you can choose the best way to respond to it. Think Love, Simon. Make it public 4. If your girlfriend is hiding something from you, it is best to ask her about it. This will jeopardize the marriage, as there will be a constant display of negative thoughts about your spouse running through your mind. Someone who talks about you behind your back is Youve given your spouse a safe context to explain, inform, own, and/or apologize. A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. He gets upset easily and always gets mad when I even bring anything about other girls up. I told him that I think thats weird and that I dont want him to talk to MY friends about my past relationships while I am not there. This person could be a friend whos angry with you because of something youve said or done (or not done). As the night was closing I look across the camp and see her kissing her ex boyfriend. And what will it take to get them? Whatever the reason, they feel as though you cast too big a shadow when youre around, making it harder for them to shine. Login first We are both girls? Talkin sh mack. Slander. So whats the next step? Or is this something best answered with silence and a subtle but effective door slam? Let him know how you feel about it. Some girls will justify looking through their boyfriends phone by saying their boyfriend is doing something wrong. Theyre angry with you about something but not ready to talk to you about it. Remember that your spouse isnt the enemy, although their behavior is out of line. Lets be clear about one thing: Its inappropriate to talk negatively or disclose sensitive personal details about anyone behind their back. He cried when we almost broke-up because of this. Do girls ever regret breaking up with the guy who genuinely cared for them? (Keep those emotions in check even if you hear excuses, rationalizations, or blame-shifting.) And I guarantee there are other cracks in the friendship youve been covering in denial. (2015). How do you know if people are talking about you behind your back? Do nothing 2. Face the friendship. Stay strong couples. But for one of the following reasons, they wont call you out to your face: With that last one, they might just be used to feeling invalidated when they confront a friend or family member about something hurtful they said or did. 1. Everyone talks behind everyones backs. What kind of person is friendly to your face but badmouths you behind your back? What does it mean when someone talks bad about you behind your back? How do I bring it up? I can understand how betraying and hurtful that may feel. It is the primary responsibility of both partners to make their relationship work. How to Make Him Realize He's Losing You (21 Things to Try), 7 Signs a Man Loves You But Is Afraid to Accept His Feelings, 5. An Airbnb host seems to have hit the lottery after revealing what her guests leave behind after a few-day stay. When theyre talking to others, they feel exposed when the talking stops. How would she feel if I went and talked about her? If my boyfriend says he loves me but he snapchats other girls all the time My Boyfriend is Addicted to Cam Girls/Cyber Sex. Me and my family were very nice to him.. Confront him about this behavior of his that does not go down well with you. It hurts. Rethink your relationship Is It Best to Confront Someone Gossiping about You? This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest. Slander. My (f26) bf (m22) sometimes makes me very frustrated. Anyone who will listen. Reddit, Inc. 2023. 5 Reasons Why People Gossip It is a little so hurtful as finding out a treasured friend has been talking about you behind your back. For many gossips, talking about others takes the pressure off them to deal with their issues. He had dinners at my house and was always welcome and made himself at home. Talkin sh mack. There is no need to waste your time on something that will not bring you profit. today, she got angry for no reason. Me and my boyfriend are also working for this same company. As youve probably guessed, it depends on why theyre doing it. Make the conversation personal. e.g. 1. This is a negative attitude and it gets worse when its coming from your husband. When Your Husband Talks Bad About You Behind Your Back (11 Ways To Handle The Situation). Interesting. What does it mean when someone talks bad about you behind your back? My bf talks behind my back about my past relationships and it makes me very angry. Its not always the other persons fault, sometimes, you have to check what youre doing to hurt the relationship as well. I was hurt by this. He does treat me like a princess whenever we are together, almost perfect. 3. It could mean that the person is suffering from low self-esteem, and as such, cannot confront you with whatever issue it is. My boyfriend is talking to other girls behind my back and he doesnt knoww that im aware. Behind their gossip is, if not ill will, at least a casual disregard for the way their words might affect you or anyone else they talk about behind their backs. Learning Mind does not provide medical, psychological, or any other type of professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
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